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Heart First Leadership
Welcome to Heart First Leadership, the podcast that explores a revolutionary approach to leadership. In a world that often prioritizes success above all else, it's easy to find ourselves leading from a space of fear, doubt, and unworthiness. There is a new way!
Join me, your host Ryan Sawyer, and my co-host and wife, Heidi Sawyer, on a transformative journey as we seek to inspire and guide leaders, parents, and athletes to unlock the secrets to a truly fulfilling life—one that resonates from the heart. In Heart First, we challenge the conventional norms and embark on a voyage together, where heart-driven leadership becomes the compass for a life well lived.
Are you ready to redefine where you lead from? Let's dive into meaningful conversations, insights, and practical tips that will empower you to embrace a new paradigm of leadership.
Heart First Leadership
Evan Cook's Voyage from Sports to Mentorship and Poetry
Navigating the complex tangle of self-identity, especially for athletes, is no easy feat. Evan delves into the critical work of his program "More Than Athletes," designed to help young sports enthusiasts chart a course for their future that isn't confined to the playing field. Writing prompts emerge as a surprising yet effective compass for self-discovery, encouraging young people to draw a bigger picture of their life's canvas. Such tools help to cultivate a sense of self that is as versatile and dynamic as the individuals themselves, ensuring they embark on their post-athletic journey empowered and self-assured.
>>> Get our FREE Heary First Guide to Helping Teens Thrive Beyond Performance
What's inside the guide?
- How to better help your student stay engaged, motivated, and resilient by focusing on learning, improving, and expanding their capacity.
- How to avoid common behaviors and messages that cause students to "duck their heads" or adopt avoidant strategies.
- Get practical exercises and conversation starters that you can use with your teens or students at school, sports and home.
Website: www.ihpcoaching.com
Follow Us on IG: @mentalstrengthcoach
Welcome back to the show. Today I have a very special guest for you to hear from, learn from. I'm excited to learn from man. We go back a little bit. Evan Cook, do they still call you cookie?
Speaker 2:You know what Some people do in some spaces and even funnier is working with kids. They always like we're going to call you cookie.
Speaker 1:Are you still okay if we call you cookie? Yeah, okay, run on, man. So Evan Cook played football at Eastern and I'm sure we'll talk about that a little bit right. For a player of mine that just have loved seeing your life unfold, that's one thing I do love about social media is being able to just observe the people from your past that you care about. So just excited to have you here, man. Thank you for being here.
Speaker 2:Man, I'm excited to be here. This is, I mean, this is cool. I love that you provide this platform. I love that you invited me to this platform, so I'm very grateful for that and it's just kind of good. I love the message, heart first. It just it resounds with me, it sticks with me and I mean, as a player, you've known this kind of how I've always led was with my heart and so things like that. So yeah, yeah, beautiful.
Speaker 1:Well, give us a screenshot. So there's listeners out there who don't know who cookie is right, so tell us who Evan Cook like. Give us just a great screenshot, kind of where you come from, what's got you to here, where you are now in life.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I moved up to Washington State from Oklahoma and it was after I had a brief state in the juvenile justice system and my mom, you know, it's kind of like that fresh Prince of Bel Air story. So if I didn't have no uncle Phil, I just had a brother and a sister-in-law and a bunch of kids I had to look after. So I moved up to Washington and started in federal way, started playing football there and then got to Eastern, play football at Eastern, obviously for Coast Sawyer, and that was a very beautiful and challenging time in life, you know, just going from a boy to a man. And then after football I got into law enforcement. A little bit Didn't last long, in that, you know, when you that's a tough, that's a tough position to lead with your heart in.
Speaker 2:So after I transitioned from law enforcement I got into public speaking and this is where really I would say, my heart first kind of came into the play. Because you know, there was a, there was a few situations I was going through a law enforcement where it's like you know what, in a perfect world I just wouldn't be doing this, I'd be doing something. I love the aspect of being able to relate to people, to coach people, to teach people and to just kind of share my experiences and stories and then also share about the law and things like that. And so I didn't like arresting people and so I just kind of ran into a collision there and then so I really just had to sit and ponder like, well, what do I want to do? What am I good at, what are my gifts and talents? And so speaking was always one of them. Writing, poetry was another, and I'll kind of get into that later, but public speaking was definitely one of them.
Speaker 2:And so I ended up moving back to my hometown, or my Washington hometown, federal Way, and started speaking in classrooms and to just kids, and you know it was an avid class. I want to say that I first spoke to. And then there was other different classes I got invited to to speak with kids and just share about my journey and share about leadership. And when I saw there it was like man, you know, these kids need a lot more than just somebody to come in and babble on about how good they were and how good they got it.
Speaker 2:Now, and I just kind of, and I just kind of didn't. You know it was fine, you know, I feel like I had a story coming, you know, being in the college for a while player and winning a national championship, and so it was a compelling story. But it wasn't necessarily what they need. And so I shifted that public speaking platform to a mentoring one and I started doing mentoring groups and programs for free in schools and high schools out in Federal Way. And you know, after that it kind of transitioned me into law enforcement because they're like man, you don't have to do this for free. I was going broke, I went broke.
Speaker 2:Kind of kind of leading with my heart. I want to, I want to do what I felt I'm called to do. I felt like this is what God put me here to do, this is what I want to do. And so I just kind of dove in, I would say ignorantly, because I didn't know how nonprofits worked, I didn't know how business worked, I didn't know how any of that worked. I just was determined to get in the classroom and get with students and teach. And so I would say I got taken advantage of, you know, by organization, just more. So, capitalizing off the passion, capitalizing on my heart, and saying, yeah, here you can come, speak to them, we don't have a check for you. But here you go. And I started seeing like man, I'm pretty good at this, I'm making a big impact. Can I get some money? No, we don't have any, we don't have any, we don't have any for you anyway. And so I just kind of ran into a lot of challenges with that, getting things off the ground, and I would be side by side with programs who were getting paid to be there, who kids didn't really, you know like, they love my program, they love being with me, and so I just kind of had to like take a step back and figure out how do I monetize this, how do I turn this into a career of mine and be able to take care of myself and my family? And so I ended up getting with the nonprofit coach and football and I just kind of created different ways to do everything that I want to do. So I just kind of split my time up between the football field, between classrooms, between spoken word, between everything, and I was I'd wake up at 4am and I'm not getting home until 9pm, 10pm, sometimes even later, and they're ready to do it all over again. So I kind of dove into that, but I slowed down a lot when adversity struck.
Speaker 2:You know, in 2018 I was working for a nonprofit and you know I had dealt with a lot of loss and I had lost like probably like my first kid when I was just starting out and he was in my program and he got murdered at a Taco Bell out here in Federal Way and kind of it kind of shook me up a little bit. It shook up the city and it kind of left me as, like man, are you sure you want to do this? There's a lot that comes with it. There's a lot of emotion, there's a lot of trauma that comes with it. And so I just had to make sure that, you know. I was sure I had to kind of go back to my spirit and God and say, you know, are you sure this is where you want me? Like, I don't want to have to continue to deal with this. And so I just kind of persevered and stayed through it.
Speaker 2:And then, more and more and more, and I think the biggest thing that kind of shook me up was when I lost a coworker and I believe it was more stress induced. He had asthma attack and I believe it was more stress induced. We were under a lot of pressure, we're under a lot of scrutiny, we're under a lot of tension in the city and things, and we were trying our hardest to really mediate situations involving gun violence. We're doing our best to try and get kids, you know, back on the right track. And we had lost a kid to suicide and it was just like man, we never dealt with that before. And so, just doing all that, we kind of resorted back to our training and our principles of what it is we're trying to do.
Speaker 2:And then I lost him and so I just kind of felt alone, didn't know what to really do, and so I was advised to take time off from work and I was like as long as you need, and I'm like man, these kids need me, so I don't want to be going too long. So we kind of settled at two weeks and so I went to this leadership conference and I grabbed this journal and I said quiet, the mind and the soul will speak. And I just felt that that message that's for me, like I'm here for that reason, and I opened that journal and I started writing and journaling, writing poetry and just writing my thoughts over the next. What turned into be two years, started off with two weeks where I would go and I would start at the leadership conference and I would go to Friday Harbor to just sit by the water, to Montana and Glacier National Park, the Thousand Gardens of Buddha in Montana, and I just ended up places where I'm just like in a Zen mode or whatever, and I just wrote and it was very, very healing for me and I kind of found and that's why my book is called my Journey to Self-Care, that's how I found kind of how do I take care of myself and really offload some of what I'm going through.
Speaker 2:I hadn't really got into the therapy yet at that point in my life so I didn't really feel like I had anybody to talk to.
Speaker 2:My practices were unhealthy because, like in that song Tennessee Whiskey I'll bury my problems at the bottom of a bottle, and so I just kind of was dealing with it unhealthily and ended up finding a good practice for myself through writing. And that led me back to grad school where I got my master's in public policy and governance and that just kind of led me to what I do now, which is write, speak, help. And I kind of shifted back from mentoring where I like to now train the people who are working with the youth really to avoid some of the pitfalls that I fell in, to do practices better than I did and to really help them go and make a meaningful impact in youth's lives, but also keeping themselves safe from secondary trauma, from just emotional baggage that comes with working with kids. You know, beautiful. And so it just kind of led me here, man, and that's a long story, short of an introduction, but yeah, no, it's beautiful.
Speaker 1:It gives me all kinds of a lot of different directions. I want to take this conversation. Thank you for sharing it first of all, and it makes me curious for a moment, like if you were to identify, you know cause. We work in some of the same type of circles and different demographics, in different areas obviously, but I'm working with youth quite a bit, mainly in athletics, and you know, there's what I would say is this to parents, to coaches, to anybody listening is whatever work have done up to this point is not working.
Speaker 1:But clearly, right, if you look at mental health, you look at, you know everything violence, whatever, all of it, right, you know survey recently done that 80% in some circles and even 88% of collegiate athletes struggling with mental and emotional wellness, like raising their hand and acknowledging they need support or help. That's a high number, that's a huge number, right, and so, from your perspective, I would love just to hear from you for a moment, like what is it that you see that is missing with the youth and what is it you see that they need? I'm just like, what is this one thing that we can do? Like, yeah, that's something that we can maybe do or shift. I think it's education.
Speaker 2:I think you know what a lot of youth lack is the knowledge of themselves. And just speaking from a personal experience and you can probably attest to this too, being a former athlete so much of our identity gets wrapped up into that. And so there's no like who was cookie outside of Eastern Washington Jersey or Ta Bimmer Jersey, and having that answer that at 25 is depressing, like that is. You know when it just suddenly ends and now you're just stuck with all right, here's Bill's, here's taxes, here's life, and you have no knowledge of how to navigate that field, how to navigate yourself in those spaces. You know when so much of your identity has been wrapped up, and so I think it starts with getting them at a young age. You know when they start athletics.
Speaker 2:So athletics is a great tool, it's a great way to go see the world, great way to go get college paid for, it's a great way to socialize. Athletics is really great. But we have to educate our kids that they're more than just that and build themselves and build them an identity outside of their Jersey. And most of them don't want to, you know, because they love that, they wanna get wrapped up in that.
Speaker 2:And it's even harder nowadays because, like you know, sports have kind of took a shift to more entertainment with social media, with NIL deals and just more of a I feel, more of a pedestal we have put athletes on, but not more support that we've given them, especially from mental and emotional health. You know, I work with athletes as well. I have a program called More Than Athletes and that's kind of what I try and do is just give them identity, help them find an identity. Not give them, but help them find an identity outside of their uniforms, and that's kind of one of the things that we heart for and I'm sure, man, we can build on this for days.
Speaker 1:Oh boy yeah, you and I definitely need to connect more offline because this piece of we become over identified with our role, with our sport, and there's a lot that goes into why that's happening. But I completely, 100%, wholeheartedly agree with you that we have to help youth find their own sense of worth in something outside of the sport. Now, the sport is the athletics competition. You know, competition in itself is primal, like it's important right To learn how to compete, all those things. But when you become over identified and your self worth is wrapped up whether or not you win or lose the game, you know, and now that you're in real life, you recognize that, like, winning in itself is damn near meaningless, but it's about the process and who you become and the development of the skills and the tools.
Speaker 1:But yet, man, we get real well-owned up and the first thing we ask our kids is how'd you do, rather than what'd you learn? You know, and I mean when you talk about, you know, seeing how you could have done things differently, like, trust me, from this perspective now, versus who I was. You know, obviously now it's been over a decade and damn near decades since I left coaching and so when I was coaching you, that was what 15 years ago and, yeah, I would do it different. I was just saying I do it different. I mean I'm not saying less passion, not less passion, but definitely different. You know, coming from a different place, so to see that whole. So what is one way that you help them do that? What is one way that you help youth find an identity that's outside of the jersey?
Speaker 2:Writing, writing is probably one of my top ways, because when you just give them, you know, my prompt is always you know, what do you wanna be when you grow up If life just was perfect tomorrow? What do you wanna be when you grow up? And then I'll shift it and say you can't be an athlete If sports didn't exist. What do you wanna be when you grow up? And it challenges them to think and they write it out, and they write it out and you know the answer that I love the most is I don't know.
Speaker 1:Right beautiful.
Speaker 2:Now explore, now explore, let's go into. Okay then, what are you passionate about? What are you gifted at? What are your raw skills and talents that you can just jot down on paper? Good at math, I'm good at science, I'm good at this. I'm good at that. All right, let's pair this over here with all right. What now? What are you stronger at? What can you do the best, the easiest, and all right, I can easily just go solve a Rubik's Cube Like all right, you're so, whatever it is, yeah, you're a different type of thinker, you know, and then you just kind of shift that energy all the way down to.
Speaker 2:These are the fields that more align with who you are, not aside from what you like to do and what society has told you you need to go do to be rich, you know. But this more aligns with who you are, and it may be a mathematician, it may be an actor, it may be a politician, it may be a police officer. It's gonna be something, though, other than a uniform, and they just need to be able to see that, and so they can conceive that possibility of damn, I am more than just this uniform. I have other things I can do, and then I try and take them. Okay, now, what are our tools? What do we have to get to where we wanna go? Now, sports just became a tool Instead of my life. It just became a tool.
Speaker 2:Vehicle, yeah, and now I can just drive the vehicle as far as it can go, but I know this vehicle doesn't define me. Yeah, so I've worked with some kids, some athletes, that they're all ages now, because some have recently graduated college, some about to go on to play in NFL, and then some are still in high school, which I kinda love the most. I've kinda started to stop this program a lot and I kinda just revamped it up like the last couple of years of just really getting into personal with a few kids. I think my limitations only had me only working with like three to five kids, and that's kinda how I liked it the most was I said it is room of 30. Let me just scale it all the way back to like a three to five where I know I can go put their finger on it and say, all right, thank you.
Speaker 1:I'll make a depth of impact rather than a width of impact, and there was a study that came out recently that every single person, even if they don't try to influence 80,000, right. So think about like that's a stadium full of people, right, that will come in contact and influence in one way, shape or form, so that that person is impacted by you at their depth, at their core. Right. They may it may be 80, but it may be an exponentially larger than that. If they seek to impact others, right, then now it becomes hundreds of thousands, millions, tens of millions, hundreds of millions, right that one person has the opportunity to go, impact and come in contact with. And what's the ripple effect of that? Right?
Speaker 1:One of the things I've been recently and it came from one of my coaching groups I'm actually working with a player right now out at Eastern in one of my coaching groups, nice, and he's done a lot of work. He's done a lot of personal development work and he said something beautiful the other day. He said we should wrap up our identity in our intentions rather than. Which is really highlighting this idea that it's about the process, not the outcome, right, and it's about who you become Like, and so, even like what I hear you saying is really going even beyond the specific role of police officer or lawyer or whatever that they end up choosing down the road, but really getting clear about who they are as a core right and who they want to become as a core right, like, hey, I want to be a patient, passionate, consistent, whatever these things are like. These are my intentions to show up. What kind of teammate am I going to show up as today? Cause that's the greatest gift that I'm going to be able to take away from that experience.
Speaker 1:When I lose, I mean, I can only tell you a handful of games. I even remember the score or what the game you know, like yeah, maybe the national championship game, right, but you don't remember all the games you don't remember, but you remember the relationships and if they molded you into becoming something that you weren't before, like that's the point, right, I love that intention piece. Yeah, man, so for you, what is it that helps you stay centered in this Cause? It sounds like you really leaned into the unknown man. You really been doing this and like super inspired to hear because, as somebody who you know, I coach for a living right, I coach a mentor and a lot of times it's always that very struggle, like, yeah, would you come talk to my team? And then I do a handful of things for free. But it's like, yeah, but when is it going to turn into something that I could feed my family with? Right and like that piece. So like to lean into that and say what has kept you leading with your heart all these years Since that transition?
Speaker 1:Cause now it's been what? Five, six years at least. Right, six years, almost 10. Yeah, oh, since you've made that shift, yeah, yeah, almost 10 years, but I got back out in 2015.
Speaker 2:And so, yeah, it's almost been 10 years. That's what I was saying.
Speaker 1:We both transitioned about the same time then? Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, god works in mysterious ways. Yeah, right, but I would say the, you know, since that transition, I think what is always sending me is I've always had. It came from a religious background and I would say it shifted into a more spiritual background, which was a little bit difficult of a transition because I was so mad at religion that I forgot the principles of them. Sure, the good things that I was able to take from them and the things that grounded me when I was sick of you being on my ass.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sorry about that, it was great.
Speaker 2:But those things. Then it was Jesus, it was Christ. I shifted my consciousness towards more of a relationship with the universe and the different pieces that come, with all of the religious teachings or the philosophical doctrines. I just found my own way. I just remember being connected to that and centering myself on purpose. Why are you here? Why are you here? You're here for a reason.
Speaker 2:When it gets hard and it still gets hard I just re-center myself on why are you here? The most high, the creator, god, whatever somebody wants to say for that higher source. They didn't bring me here for no reason. I know that with the faith in that higher source, with the faith in God, with the faith in who I call on me, I say my ancestors, my spiritual guides, the most high, with that faith I'm able to then persevere because I know that the universe is going to provide for me one way or another. If I hold true to that, then what's outside is easy Going and just walking and just showing up and doing it. It's easy.
Speaker 2:It's happened over and over again where I've been lost and clueless or dead broke. It's like nah, but you got to go do this speaking engagement. No, they're not going to pay you the money? Here's this $25,000 contract that's going to help you come out of nowhere to go and teach about community safety. Here's this little side gig that you can use to supplement your income, things like that.
Speaker 2:Just being true to what it is that I'm here for, because I really believe that what I'm doing isn't necessarily it wasn't my choice, even though I made the decision to go and do it, but I made the decision to listen to the calling I was given. I feel like this is my duty, this is my obligation. I feel like when I attach words like that to it, it means a little bit more getting it done. It means a little bit more with staying patient in the hard times and staying true in the hard times. When kids are dying, you dead broke, you're wondering what the hell am I doing? I could be making $100,000, something thousand dollars doing a million and two other things and living a better life traveling the world. Seeing this, seeing that, it's like what are you here?
Speaker 1:for, yeah, but not a more meaningful life, maybe a more comfortable, definitely more comfortable.
Speaker 1:I think you just hit it on the head. When we go back to the identity piece, this is something I actually told my wife this morning. What am I going to say this out loud is I believe some of our over-identification with sports, even with being fans of certain sporting teams, is a lack of meaning in our life, because we're just kind of, if the Super Bowl was the best part of your week, you need to look in the mirror, that's all. Seriously, if that was the thing that you were more excited about that week anything with some nachos, your friends dip that they were going to bring it over. They had queso in it.
Speaker 1:I mean, come on, that tells me and I'm going to say this out loud, people might not like hearing this your life lacks meaning. When I hear this from you, I'm saying this as an encouragement, I'm saying this as an inspiration. That you're giving me is to pursue meaning in life and everything else seems to work out exactly how it's supposed to, and potentially better than you could have imagined, and to stay on that path of meaning rather than that's heart-first.
Speaker 2:Well, it's kind of what you were saying to not worrying about the outcome but worrying about the process. A lot of times people worry about the outcome. I want to go be a millionaire instead of I want to go change people's lives. I did a book panel the other day. One of the main questions that the kids always had was how much money have you made selling your book? Is this why you sell them books? It's like no.
Speaker 2:For me it's about expression. It's about finding a positive and healthy way to express myself and being able to share that with them so they can see, not everything's about money. I know school and institutions and just capitalistic society puts a monetary value on everything that we do. It makes it hard to really go and lead with your heart, because a lot of people are thinking with their mind and thinking with their bank account Rightfully so. I mean shit. This is tough economic times that we're living in. However, when you're able to focus on the journey, the process, I believe that all of those questions become answered, if not immediately, over time, that those questions become answered.
Speaker 2:I've never seen myself sitting in a house. Nine years ago, when I started this, I knew I would be in one, though I never saw it. All I saw was get up every day and go and pack these kids' lives. Get up every day and go and pack these kids' lives and pivot when you have to make the necessary changes that go with your growth. Going back to grad school was probably one of the greatest things that ever happened to me, because I hated undergrad. So now we have agency and alumni house. I got one.
Speaker 2:I wasn't a good student, I got caught cheating and I just kind of like took that five years of free college for granted, and when I could have been there learning about myself doing more things. I have a passion for music and there was a whole free studio on campus and I only recorded two songs ever. You know there was things I could have took advantage that I didn't. And then, when I got to a certain mindset in my life, I'm like, oh, I need more skills to go do and make the impact that I want to. I've got to be able to go stand in other rooms, I've got to be able to go have a different conversations with lawmakers and policymakers and I better be able to pull my weight. And so let me go get different tools and skills, I mean.
Speaker 2:And now when I'm talking to a city councilman and they're like, oh, what's your degree in? And it's public policy, they look at me different because they're like, oh, because when we're talking about youth, mike, you're not going to just go be on the street level and not in changed poverty and systematic oppression there. It's going to start in, you know, in Washington State and Olympia. It's going to start in our mayor's office. It's going to start in, you know, getting around the people and to the people and becoming those people who have the power to make those laws, who have the power to implement those laws and execute such policies that we are affected by our everyday life. Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can see your passion, I can feel your passion, so talk to me about. I pulled something out here earlier that you're saying and I want to go back to because I want to give you a chance to talk about your book for a moment. First of all, congrats, I'm right. I, you know I'm actually I'm writing my second one right now. I've written the manuscript and it's been sitting on my desk for about three months because I'm afraid of going back into it, because I know what happens is you can't pull yourself back out, because all you think about is like oh, what about? I want to change that word, and I know I got that as a fit and I got to add on that and I got to go research this and I got to. You know what I mean. It's like it's a painstaking thing, but so you said quiet the mind and the soul will speak. Obviously that is. That was something that was an impression upon you that led to your book, I'm assuming. Yeah, and tell me about your book a little bit.
Speaker 2:OK, before I do, I would say congratulations on your first book. I never. I never did Congratulations and we haven't talked about it, but I haven't read it.
Speaker 1:Oh, did you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did and I thought it was super impactful and I thought, you know, not just appreciated your vulnerability of just sharing your experiences and transition from coaching. So thank you for that. I actually really enjoyed that book, except sitting on my shelf. But you know what what kind of led to mine was? You know, I had that journal and I filled it up and, like I said, it started off as like this two way thing that I'm going to do, the turn into this three year thing that I did. It might have been more than three years, because I started writing in that in 2018 and I probably stopped in 2021, whatever. So, yeah, that's three years, but and so it was just sitting there, you know, the last couple of years, and I would always go back to it If I had a performance to say what poem, what poem could I go use to perform? What video could I make with with a poem from there? And then it just got to me and I just want to read every part of the book. I want to read every poem, I want to read it. And it was like, well, are you just going to leave it here? Like, are you just going to like sit on it and I'm like I can't, you know and that's how I feel with with the works that we do as creatives is we can leave it for our kids so we can share it with the world and see how big of an impact they can have. And so I knew, like these poems are powerful, you know some dark, some gloomy, some with with some extra stuff on them, but they're powerful. And I only knew because I would go perform them. And people were like, oh wow, you know, that's, that's great. And I had read different poetry books myself and I like I want to make not just a book of poems but I want to tell about my experience and how I got here. And so once I wrote that out and I was just like, oh well, I got a publisher now and what really led to me publishing was I had took a, I had did a fast from from wheat. You know I felt like I was getting too addicted and stuck in that and so and I wasn't being as productive. You know I was being productive from a creative standpoint but not from an execution standpoint. And so I took a fast and you know it just changed my life Like it was the most productive six months.
Speaker 2:I probably had the last 10 years and one of the goals in that I had written out goals and one of my goals was to publish that book. And so was to publish a book. It wasn't even necessarily that one, or how my soul speaks. It was to publish a book because I have like I'm working on one right now that I started writing when I left law enforcement and got to chapter six and just stopped and I haven't touched that book in the last like six to eight years and it's just been sitting there and I'm like, all right, well, I need to freshen this one up, you know.
Speaker 2:So I wanted to go, let me attack the low hanging fruit. What book can I publish that will be easy to come out, but still a good book that I'd be proud to go speak up? Because I wrote my first book. It was a children's book, but I really didn't like it as as much as I thought I would, and maybe that's just cause, like fiction and fantasy isn't really my style, you know. It's more so getting to the root, getting to the heart of problems and things like that, telling my life and my story, and so I didn't like that project and I was like, all right, which one can I?
Speaker 2:And I had seen that notebook that I had and I'm like, all right, let me, let me type up an introduction, let me type up my journey to self care, and then let me transcribe all of these poems in here. And it would took me about three to four months and next thing, you know, I was like all right, what would be the title? And I thought back to that saying quiet the mind and the soul will speak. Well, this is how my soul speaks. And I said that and I was like, oh shit, there, it is, there, it is there, it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's funny you think you start writing a book, you think you have the title and then you finish writing the book and the title changes. That's how mine, my book, yeah. So it's that's beautiful, man. Well, it's it's a. Congratulations on on leading with your heart. Stay in the path Like it's super inspirational and it's someone has to do it right, someone has to do it. It's what the world needs, man. The world needs people who are taking a path that's not traveled. If we're going to create something new and different, we have to be willing to walk down paths and no one's walking down and we have to be willing to to leave the crowd and not walk with the crowd. And then that's just. You know, too many people are just staying in line, walking with the crowd and doing what everybody else is doing chasing the next shiny thing.
Speaker 2:So To me, it's on the knowers, it's on the people who know. And you know, it's our duty and obligation to you know, as human beings, to make sure that the generations that. It's why we're here, it's our, it's our biological purpose, it's to share and pass down knowledge so that our children and our children's children who are coming up, can sustain this planet, can sustain humanity. And so I feel, like you know, when we see this, when we see it in the in the spot that it is, it's on all of us to grab somebody and bring them along. And whether that starts in the household, which is where I believe it starts I believe it starts at home. First, it starts in the mirror, starts in the household, and then you kind of spread that out into the community. Because I just always use that analogy of I can't go clean up somebody else's room if my room's in here looking like shit. As soon as somebody come into my house, they're gonna be like, bro, you done told them to stack shelves and all of this and all your shit all over the floor, you know. So I believe in cleaning up the home first and cleaning up yourself first, and then being able to go out, and it can even be a simultaneous process. You know, it's just more about the transparency of hey, this is what I'm doing. This is what we need to do as humanity to get into a space where all of our kids can feel safe, all of our kids can be productive, all of our kids can inherit the earth that is prosperous for them and not ridiculed by war and poverty and the things that we see of today. And so I just believe it's on the knowers, it's on those who have the ability to go out and teach.
Speaker 2:You know, one thing I appreciate about what you continue to do is, you know, my biggest compliment to you is always your ability to teach. You know, I learned a lot from you in terms of X's and O's, how I coach football. You know, I only believe, like you, can only coach two levels, and levels that you were coached at and continue to learn it, and so the level of education that you was able to provide me with around the game of football and how to attack the game of football, the process of doing things I feel like, has helped me become a better coach, and that's my. You know what I'm saying and that's my aspiration as a coach, you know what I'm saying. It's to go be a great teacher, you know, and I got a different style than you had. But but, good, good, I'm thankful. And sometimes you got to do what you got to do to get it out of them. And you know I had my best scrimmage after you gave me the worst words.
Speaker 1:So it's just kind of it's just kind of about.
Speaker 2:You know, I always believe you know how we package the message, but sometimes you got to just, you know, you got to let people know. And the best way you know how, and I think it's and I think what's commended about how you do it now is you can look back and say I would do it differently. There are different things that there are different words I would choose, there are different things that I would do. You know, but one thing that I believe most of us as young adults were able to do at least I hope, and I hope more so now and our space as adults is be able to, you know, eat the chicken and spit out the bone.
Speaker 2:You know, I never, I never believed that there were bad intentions. You know, I never believed that our best interest wasn't at heart. You know, I just believe that you always wanted, and other coaches always wanted us to be at our best selves. And not everybody always know how to get somebody to their best self. But if you're given an honest effort, I can't knock you too hard. You know, I can probably have a lot more grace for you than somebody who does know how it chooses not to Whatever. So yeah, I just appreciate you having me here coach.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is fun. It's beautiful to have this conversation with you and reconnect with you. Man Does hearing, seeing you grow, seeing your growth, I guess, from the outside, but just you would just hear and you speak, man, I can just tell that you're doing the work and that you know you're becoming somebody. That is is I'm proud of you. You know what I'm saying and you should be proud of what you have accomplished and the path that you're on you know. So my next, my last kind of question is is if you were to be able to give yourself advice at a younger age, first of all, what age does your mind immediately go to?
Speaker 2:It always goes to 14.
Speaker 1:14, okay. It always goes to 14. That's an age man. That's about I was 14. I might be probably closer to 15 or 16, personally, but what would you tell that 14-year-old Evan?
Speaker 2:Lead him girls alone, lead him. Girls alone, especially at that age, man. This is at that age, huh. But I think that you know, I would say the message for my 14-year-old self my 18-year-old self is would be the same, would be to focus and give it your all. You know, go as hard as you can at becoming who you are and doing the best in what you have. You know, life will be and we always grow up and be like man I should have, I could have what a, and you know, I always think of the Nick Edward story. I always think of his story and his story is one I would tell my younger self is.
Speaker 2:It's about your work ethic, man. It's about how hard you go at the things you wanna do, and if that's making it to the NFL, if that's being the top kid in your science class, you know, like Nick Saban always says, the process is the same. You're gonna go through. There's only one way to it and it's making certain sacrifices, like staying away from girls and staying focused on your books, read books, get in the classroom. You know I would give myself a long speech.
Speaker 2:Yeah, develop your mind, develop your mind, yep, develop your mind and that'll help you. You know, utilize your tool, your gift of hitting people and hand fighting, but develop your mind, develop your body and develop your spirit. Everything else will take care of itself. But most importantly, young cookie, lead them girls alone.
Speaker 1:So you can have the energy and the time to develop your mind and your body, spirit. Right, energy and time crucial. Yeah Well, where can people find you If they're looking to kind of see what you have going on them or find your book?
Speaker 2:yeah, Make a trip to Federal Way, but you can find my book. I sell it from my website, evancookcom. The E is a three, so it's threevancookcom and I sell my book right there. It'll get to you from the time you place an order then the week, so that's where you can find me. I'm always in Federal Way. You can invite me out. On my website there's a contact page where I can be booked for services, where I can be booked for public speaking. Instagram is Coach Cook, 56. And I'm super easy to find. I'm always in Federal Way, mostly at the house.
Speaker 1:I just had a son. Oh, congratulations, I didn't know, that yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2:How old is he? Four months, almost five months. And what's his name?
Speaker 1:Kai, kai, beautiful, that's my nephew's name, kai, really. Yeah, that's right, it's beautiful, awesome. Well, thank you, cookie, so much, appreciate you, proud of you, man, and I keep doing everything that you're doing to stay on the path, brother.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Coach. I appreciate you and I'm proud of you as well. Beautiful space that you've created and I just enjoy watching you transform your life as well, but still keep that same passion, Right.
Speaker 1:I appreciate you, brother. We'll stay in touch. All right Coach.
