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Heart First Leadership
Welcome to Heart First Leadership, the podcast that explores a revolutionary approach to leadership. In a world that often prioritizes success above all else, it's easy to find ourselves leading from a space of fear, doubt, and unworthiness. There is a new way!
Join me, your host Ryan Sawyer, and my co-host and wife, Heidi Sawyer, on a transformative journey as we seek to inspire and guide leaders, parents, and athletes to unlock the secrets to a truly fulfilling life—one that resonates from the heart. In Heart First, we challenge the conventional norms and embark on a voyage together, where heart-driven leadership becomes the compass for a life well lived.
Are you ready to redefine where you lead from? Let's dive into meaningful conversations, insights, and practical tips that will empower you to embrace a new paradigm of leadership.
Heart First Leadership
What is Your NO MATTER WHAT Goal?
This conversation is an exploration into the art of fully committing to life's endeavors without the shadow of regret, advocating for 'no matter what' goals that prioritize the essence of our experiences. We'll share how radical responsibility for one's intentions paves the way for a life brimming with purpose and opportunity, ready to embrace or turn away from paths that deviate from our heart's true direction. Join us for an episode that promises to inspire, challenging you to lead with your heart and arm you with the readiness to seize the moments that define and prepare you for the future.
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Hey, welcome back to the show Today. I have a quick story for you. I had an athlete who came to me just the other day Looking for help, was really super nervous about going into a big game. They were a younger athlete, they're a sophomore on their basketball team, a team that didn't have a lot of senior leadership, and they're going to play their big rival, and so she was really, really nervous about the opponent, about the game, and just wanted the game to go a certain way, right. So I asked her okay, well, what's the goal, what's the big goal that you want? And, of course, the first thing that comes out of her mouth is to win. I said okay, awesome, we always want to win. We know that's the big goal. Now, what's the real goal? What do you want, no matter what? That's the thing I want us to really ask ourselves is that we think we want something, and it's good to have big external goals, but behind that there's something that we want, no matter what. So I told her to pause with that for just a minute. I want you to think about what you want, no matter what. And she paused and she thought about it for a few minutes and then she said no matter what, I want my team to stick together. I want my team to stick together to play for each other, to play hard and to have fun. I said awesome, that's really what you want, is the no matter what?
Speaker 1:So then we went in through some dialogue and some conversation about who it is that you need to be to make that possible. And this is a part where we talk about leading with a heart. We talk about it's who we become in the process, not what we'd necessarily achieve or the outcomes, about being more process oriented rather than result driven, and this is what it comes down to. We have to be able to identify. If we have an external goal or a no matter what goal, we then have to be able to clearly articulate who is it that we need to be to execute? Who do we need to show up as to make sure we are making that possible, that we're creating the environment within ourselves, within our team, within that specific moment or leading up to a moment that makes it possible. So we then identified the type of leader that she needed to be.
Speaker 1:She went through this big old list I need to be encouraging, I need to be uplifting, I need to be. I mean face adversity, when things don't go well. I need to keep my head up, I need to stay positive, I need to be vocal. Some of the things maybe were already natural, but some of these things were going to take a stretch. It was gonna be new, it was gonna be different. So, of course, there's all kinds of mental preparation that go into that. But then when we clearly identify the ways that we would need to be to create the experience I'm not the outcome that we want, but then no matter what experience that we want and we see how that stretches us that's the point we see that that's gonna help us to become a better leader. And yes, of course we wanna win the game, but it's not always about whether or not we win or the way we lose. It's about who we become in the process and being able to clearly identify that. Here is a challenge I'm facing. That's right in front of me. There's some way that I want this to go, some sort of an experience I want to have, and who do I need to show up as? What do I need to do in preparation for that as well?
Speaker 1:So the next piece once we clearly identified who she needed to be to be able to make that possible, to create the environment where that was able to happen. I then asked her who needs to know? Do your teammates know that you wanna stick together? You're clearly a younger leader on this team, and so the next question is to the people around you who's involved in this experience that's gonna be unfolding in front of you? They're gonna be. You're not all in control of whether or not your team sticks together. It's a team, so does your team know? Does your team know that this is the experience that you wanna have? Hey, no matter what that, we're gonna stick together.
Speaker 1:She said no, I don't think so, probably not. So then I. That's. The next step is to articulate to the people in your life that this is the experience that we're going to have. No matter what, we're gonna stick together, we're gonna face adversity, we're gonna keep our head up, we're gonna stay positive, we're gonna keep answering, we're gonna give it our absolute best. And within that gave her a very clear half the anxiety just melted away. She has seen the look on her face. It looked open and bright and uplifting. Her breath changed. Wow, thank you, coach. She said.
Speaker 1:So then off she goes, plays the game, comes back. I check in with her after the game. Do they win? No, are you proud of how you showed up as a leader? Absolutely. I was positive. I kept my head up, I encouraged my teammates, I faced adversity. I then also later heard from her father that that was the best she had played all year, that she actually played lights out. It was so much fun to watch her. I said did your team stick together? She said absolutely.
Speaker 1:And that experience was the experience that, no matter what, and what did you learn from that experience? And now we're able to actually see that we can be a better leader, that we can expand in the face of fear, in the face of adversity, that we can stretch ourselves and we can have the experience that we're after. Whether or not we win or lose the game would have been nice. Sure, that would have been the cherry on top, but it's not the point, it's not the no matter what experience, because there's growth in it regardless, and so we're able to extract the meaning from that experience. And I believe, I wholeheartedly believe, that for this individual that I'm working with I don't know about anybody else on the court. I don't have a clue of anybody else who they are. But I believe for this one individual that the most impactful experience was for her team to stick together and lose the game, that there was more to draw from that experience. There was more confidence that could be had and cultivated and then now act upon in another environment or circumstance because, hey, listen, even if things don't go our way, we're gonna stick together.
Speaker 1:How valuable is that in life? And I heard this thing from Matthew McConaughey just recently that he talked about go all in, no matter what you're doing, easy or hard, because the thing that causes any sort of suffering in life is when we are haunted by the moments in our life with could've, should've and would've, when we thought to ourselves if I would've given more, if I would've given my all, would the outcome have been different? So is it about the outcome? Absolutely not. But when you really focus on the no matter what experience, the cool thing is that actually spontaneously happens is it gives you a greater chance to not only have the experience that you want, but then also be able to make it possible a greater chance or potential of also having a specific outcome that you desire. So how can we take this story Anytime.
Speaker 1:I have little stories like this that pop up on a daily basis with my athletes or with my kids and we're in conversation. They make me reflect upon my own life. So it's really, really easy to set external goals. It's really easy to say I want this, I want this amount of money, I want this title, I want this thing. But then when you say, what do I want? No matter what I know, no matter what, I want this type of health and fitness, I want this type of connection with my wife or my spouse or my kids. I want to make this type of impact and, yeah, can we set the big goal? Absolutely set it. So we have something to strive for, so we have a vehicle to challenge ourselves, a worthy challenge of sorts to make sure that we're leaning into discomfort and we're expanding and growing our capacity. But there's so many gifts and so much rich experience in the process and in the no matter what experience, and we can have those experiences, regardless of the outcome, and we can learn the lessons that we need to learn, that are going to provide for the next moment.
Speaker 1:I am a firm believer that this moment, whatever it is that you're experiencing, whatever it is that you're facing and that's an example that we're using with sports, where this is a young leader who is very, very driven and competing in the sport means the absolute world to her is preparing her for something we don't know what, but this moment, whatever it is you're experiencing, is preparing you for the next, and if we aren't taking the moment that's unfolding in front of us and we're not sucking the experience out of it and sucking the lessons out of it, and sucking the juice and the meaning out of the experiences that are unfolding in front of us, we're not gonna be ready. We're not gonna be ready to receive the next moment. In one of my podcasts recently, when I interviewed Samson, my former players, who's a player now for the Colts NFL player for the Colts talked about this preparing your mind and your body to receive the blessing. And if you do not prepare yourself to receive the blessing, you won't receive it.
Speaker 1:So to slow down and to peel back and to say, man, am I truly just waiting to feel? Am I waiting to feel like I have or I am until this specific outcome? Or am I taking every single experience unfolding in front of me to learn, to grow, to expand my capacity to decide what is the no matter what experience that I want to have. Therefore, I'm really truly leaning in and sucking the juice out of life, because this moment is preparing us for the next. So this moment, whatever it is, you're going through in some way, shape or form, is for you, and it all depends upon how you respond to it, your attitude and what you decide to make it mean.
Speaker 1:Because that is what we're in control of, and when we take that type of radical responsibility for our lives, that we're able to decide what we place as meaning on the circumstances unfolding in front of us, we are going to prepare our mind, our body, our spirit to receive the next blessing and we will be ready for whatever is to come. The next moment will unfold as it's going to unfold, so we're going to be ready for new opportunity. We're going to be ready to reach our new potential. We're going to be ready to say yes or to say no if we have to, to make sure that we stay on our path, and we're going to be able to find so much more meaning in everything that's unfolding. We may not always get what we want, but when we live from this place of heart first, we will be able to receive what we need.
Speaker 1:So take this, see if you can use this as a way to explore a little bit in your life how you can, yes, set the big goal, know what the outcome is that you want, strive for that outcome, point your ship in that direction, but also be clear of what you want the experience to be, no matter what and who do you need to be To be that, to make sure you create that environment for that experience to unfold.
Speaker 1:And who around you needs to know that that's the experience that you're after. Is it your family, employees, friends? If we don't have the conversations that lead us towards the experience we want to have, we're not going to have it. The people around you need to know, you need to know who it is you need to be, and the people around you need to know the experience that you're striving for. And you may or may not reach the outcome. You may or may not reach that destination, but you will receive the gift and you will strengthen yourself and you will be ready for the next blessing. I wish you all the best. Thank you for your time.
