Have you ever been adrift in the sea of uncertainty following a significant life milestone? Heidi joins me as we share the untold stories behind our experiences navigating personal growth's unpredictable tides. Together, we examine the uncomfortable, yet necessary, dips that come with evolution—those moments when old accomplishments no longer serve as our compass and lack a clear direction forward.
As we chart our course through these transformative waters, we revisit the foundational practices that anchor our well-being—like surrendering to what we cannot control and shifting our focus back to the traits and experiences we yearn for. We'll discuss why clarity in our life's direction is as essential as the North Star and how adopting a growth mindset isn't just an individual pursuit but a collective voyage. Join us for a heartfelt discussion that promises to connect you with your future visions and inspire a shared commitment to regular self-reflection and growth among all of us on this journey.
Prep Like A Pro: Do you have a significant competition, speech, interview, or event coming up?
Let's get you prepping like a pro-I'm giving away my pre-competition prep tools FREE >>> Download My Systems FREE
Have you ever been adrift in the sea of uncertainty following a significant life milestone? Heidi joins me as we share the untold stories behind our experiences navigating personal growth's unpredictable tides. Together, we examine the uncomfortable, yet necessary, dips that come with evolution—those moments when old accomplishments no longer serve as our compass and lack a clear direction forward.
As we chart our course through these transformative waters, we revisit the foundational practices that anchor our well-being—like surrendering to what we cannot control and shifting our focus back to the traits and experiences we yearn for. We'll discuss why clarity in our life's direction is as essential as the North Star and how adopting a growth mindset isn't just an individual pursuit but a collective voyage. Join us for a heartfelt discussion that promises to connect you with your future visions and inspire a shared commitment to regular self-reflection and growth among all of us on this journey.
Prep Like A Pro: Do you have a significant competition, speech, interview, or event coming up?
Let's get you prepping like a pro-I'm giving away my pre-competition prep tools FREE >>> Download My Systems FREE
Welcome back to the show Today. We're going to just dive back in. It's been a few weeks, so we're going to get back to the basics by talking about getting back to the basics. Welcome, heidi. She's going to join me again today, so welcome Hi.
Speaker 1:
Everyone back into a call this morning with our momentum community and amongst the group that was on the call and we're just kind of having an open discussion and sharing and doing some Q&A. There was a theme that popped up and I think we want to illustrate this because it's part of the natural evolution human experience journey that we're all on. But individually we tend to judge the crap out of our own experience. So I was sharing a little bit with the group how, you know, coming off vacation, coming off a spring break, we traveled to Florida, we got to go to Disney World with the kids and these things, how I was in this new phase of life where it felt very unknown and unfamiliar because I've accomplished a certain level of kind of things that were on my list that I wanted to accomplish. So I noticed myself being in this space where I didn't have a specific scheduled thing that I needed to get done and timelines and whatever which allowed for this open space and part of the discussion was when we are growing in life and we're overcoming challenges and we are exploring new territory and we're shifting paradigms, and so our self-concept is shedding layers and emerging and then hiding Part of the natural process within that is this experience which is kind of visceral, it's biological, but it feels like death and rebirth.
Speaker 1:
It feels the only way I can explain it and it's important to be able to identify it is it feels like I'm not doing what I can explain it and it's an important to be able to identify it is it feels like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. That's kind of the internal, internal dialogue, like I should be doing something else. Uh, you know, why don't I just go do the thing that makes more sense or is more common, you know? And and there is this experience where it's just uncomfortable. It's really uncomfortable and you have this little bit of a dip in life, right? Do you know what I'm talking about, heidi? Do you experience this? Can you illustrate that for us and make it make more sense?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, actually, I was just talking with a friend and she's out on her own doing her own thing and really trying to develop a coaching practice, and and there's this temptation that keeps popping up for her, like why don't I go back to my old career? That's known and that way I know what I'm supposed to be doing every day and it's consistent, it kind of fits the norm of what people expect of me, and so she was sharing that. Hey, this popped up for me again. And I think that we all kind of go through those cycles where, um, when we're in the unknown, when we're in a new territory and we're no longer striving for that thing that maybe you've already accomplished, then there's this sense of unknown and that feels uncomfortable. So we want to move away from that.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and I think this unknown can show up just so. You're like hey, how does this relate to me? Whether you're talking about business, you're an entrepreneur, you're a business owner. Whether you're talking about relationship, your health, journey, I mean all kinds of different aspects of our ego.
Speaker 1:
When you are venturing into new territory, right, there has to be some sort of competing circuit which means that there's an old way of being that's being challenged by a new way of being, a new way of thinking, a new way of feeling, a new way of behaving, a new way of being in the world.
Speaker 1:
And that process of there being this competing circuit can feel like resistance and death and in that dip right, it feels like you're making mistakes, it feels like failure, it feels like you're doing something wrong, like this is all part of growth, it's all part of growth mindset from a neuroscience perspective, and we have to be able to to navigate through those dips, because those growth curves if you are familiar with growth curves there's nothing in life nature, business, anything in life that is just a continuous up curve. Everything experiences a dip, everything experiences a cycle of change and or a season change, right, where there's some sort of a dip. And so to expect a dip to know what's coming, to feel it, to know what it feels like, to know what the narratives are. And then the question becomes what do we do with the dip?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and, to answer your question, I've definitely experienced this on a regular basis for myself. But I think that something that's kind of interesting right now is that we're in this spring time of year and a lot of people get really excited about the new year, really motivated to hit new goals and do things. And this is about the time where either you've been going hard at it and you've achieved some things and you're kind of looking around going, okay, what next? What's next? Or maybe you didn't really get started and you're thinking, okay, this is the time now to kind of reboot and get into things and start pursuing your goals.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, for a lot of people, new Year's is April or May, right, that's even what one of our community members said, that like, yeah, january 1 is January 1. It's the new year of the calendar calendar, but really there's this sense of revival and new and fresh and different. When we see the sun coming out, we see the trees start to bud, right, and the interesting thing within even the mental health world that that's typically where a lot of people experience a dip because they expect something to be different, and then there's this little bit of a dip before the up curves up again. So the question becomes if we know the dip happens, that's where growth is possible, that's where there's resistance, that's where it feels more icky and sticky and unknown. That's where we feel like we're making a mistake or a failure or we're doing something wrong.
Speaker 1:
Man, that's the juice that's like, that's the, that's where it's like okay, this is where I need to really get clear about a few things and get what we, what we talked about today on the call with our community, was simplify and get back to the basics and what I referenced.
Speaker 1:
This, as you know, if you're a sports coach, right, and then when I was coaching collegiately, if we didn't play well in a practice or in a scrimmage or even in a game. The first thing that came to my mind was we got to get back to the basics. We got to get back in the shoots, hit the sled, work on our first step, work on our pad level, work on our first step, work on our pad level, work on our pursuit angles Like this is all football terminology, right, and, but they're all like the fundamentals, right. So what comes to your mind when you think about simplifying and getting back to the basics Because in those dips, that's what's going to pull us out of the dips is the things that actually sparked the growth in the first place, that got us to those dips.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I think it's understanding if it's a specific goal or a change that you're going for, like what made you excited about that in the first place, so kind of reconnecting to your why or the reason why you were wanting to make a change, or you're wanting something to be different in your life, like that example of the friend who you know want to go out her own and start her own coaching practice. It's like, well, what made you excited about that? And? And if you can reconnect to that, then maybe there'll be a little less temptation to go back to old ways just because it's comfortable.
Speaker 2:
I I think that's part of it. Right, we have to reconnect to the reason why we wanted something to be different and then, after we've done that, really look around at everything in our life whether it's the way that we're spending our time, who we're spending our time with, the things that we're taking in TV, music, social media, those types of things and look at does this actually align with who it is that I'm wanting to become, or the goal that I'm wanting to achieve, and kind of simplifying our life. That way it might be that you have a lot of things on your calendar that you need to actually take off, need to eliminate some time commitments, because they're creating a sense of overwhelm which is causing you to feel more stuck and more stagnant in reaching that goal.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I, my mind went to the same place. It's. It's easy for me when I think about the basics, you know, like, hey, it's, it's a nutrition. It's exercise Sure, I get sun exposure. It's for me, you know it's exercise. Sure, I get sun exposure. It's for me, you know, mine is meditation, like that's my, that's my absolute go-to.
Speaker 1:
But beyond that, it's about when was the last time I sat down and journaled about really truly, uh, the impact I want to make, who I want to become, the experiences I want to have, you know, the experiences that I want to create for my family, for my kids, the connection I want to experience with my wife?
Speaker 1:
Like, when was the last time I sat down and really got in the weeds of what my life currently looks like and what I want to look like, and define that gap Right, and then work towards closing that gap, because fundamentally, that's what growth is all about. Like, figure out what the gap is between where you are, where you want to be, and what's some sort of incremental shift that's going to get you there, right? So, getting back to the basics of saying because for me personally, sometimes I'm a bit of a visionary, so my mind will go to three or six or five or 10 years from now, right, or three or six months from now, I mean, or five or 10 years from now. I'm like, well boy, wouldn't that be cool? And I lose sight of. Wait, what's right in front of me?
Speaker 1:
You know, what's right in front of me and what can I control and what kind of a little tiny micro shift can I make? And, like you said, the basics are sometimes just what can I take in less of right? What can I take in less of in the sense of input that's coming into my awareness is maybe stressing out my nervous system a little bit more. And then what is it that I can potentially shift with that space and those extra resources now because I'm taking in less? What am I going to shift towards Right? And we call this a surrender and shift. That's one of the things, that's one of the terminologies that we use within our program. It's a surrender shift, it's a, it's a transitional type of of technique that we talk about. Where can we let go of something? Can we reduce an input? And then, intentionally focusing on what it is that you want, right and not in the want of like I want a new car but what it is that you want in the sense of the experience that you want to have and who it is you want to become the traits you want to embody, the qualities you want to live your life through. Like that lens. You want to become the traits you want to embody, the qualities you want to live. You know your life through like that, that lens you want to live through. And you know because the reality is this that our minds, you know if our wandering machines I just saw this study, just the other. We're going to do a different podcast about this a little bit deeper, but I just saw the study that 46 per 6, 46.9 percent of the time our minds are wandering, the average mind is wandering like wow, that's, I mean just going who knows where. 50 of the time, dang near right is going who knows where. Right, so, like that's. And then that means that there's a probably a quite a bit of time that you're ruminating in what you don't want, right. And so how much time are you actually spending being clear and directive and focus on directing your mind and your actions and your behaviors and your thoughts towards what it is that you do want? Right, if already we can take 50 percent off the table Right, right, if already we can take 50% off the table right. And then there's we know that there's, you know, 60 to 70,000 thoughts a day and 80% of those thoughts are negative and repetitive. So like wow, how much time are we actually spending on actually getting clear and directive towards the experience we do want to have? So like? To me, that's the fundamental basic right. The basic is when was the last time I got really freaking clear?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and then now the meditative practices and the, and the exercise and the journaling and or the, you know, sun exposure and the nutrition, all those things kind of fall into place for me when I'm, when I kind of figure out oh yeah, that's right, I'm out in the middle of the ocean on my ship or on my boat and I kind of forgot what my destination was.
Speaker 1:
I'm just in the middle of the ocean on my ship or on my boat and I kind of forgot what my destination was. I'm just out here sailing, you know, and so it's time for me to like, pause, drop the sails, redo you know, get the map out, figure out oh yeah, that's right, that's where I'm going, here's where I am right, set the course again, figure out which direction the wind is going, put my sails back up, you know, grab the rudder and make sure that my ship and my boat is heading in the right direction sometimes I think of it as like you're a little mouse in a field and the grass is so high all around you you don't have the perspective of what's there, what's right in front of you.
Speaker 2:
So you have to get that Eagle vision. You got to go like way up in the sky and look down at yourself. Okay, I'm there where I'm going, is there All right? Now you come back down and you take a little tiny mouse step in the direction that you need to go, and then you got to come back up again and check where am I? Because it's really hard to see when things feel tall and you feel at times overwhelmed and surrounded by obstacles, to recognize that you are actually getting closer to your destination, to the thing that you're working towards. But you have to be able to come up above it and look down and have that eagle vision so that you can redirect yourself yeah, well, it's a it's a constant.
Speaker 1:
it's a constant practice of redirection. Right, it's a constant practice of redirection. I love that. You know there.
Speaker 1:
There's been times when I was executing, like doing that very thing that you're talking about like every day, but the reality is you go on these vacations and spring break happens, and there's all these change happening. The kids are now in your space 24 hours a day. I love my children, but you know, it's like, hey, I'm so glad school is back in session and, oh boy, summer's right around the corner. That's going to be fun. I love summer, I love my kids, but I also love that window of time when they're, you know, at school. I love it, you know, and the reality is just like, hey, there's just times where those practices are not forgotten, but they're just not up front, and so that just kind of brings me back to one of the other basics that I think are as important.
Speaker 1:
So we talked about, you know, reducing inputs, being clear about what you want, slowing down, setting your course, but getting back to some minimums of like you know what, at least once a week, I do need to do some vision casting. That's a wonderful Sunday afternoon mind-wandering, not necessarily task orientation or solving a problem, just sitting on the back deck gazing off to the horizon and journaling about where is my life at and where is it going. You know, we we tend to reserve that type of exercise for for for January, december, new year's, new year's resolutions. But like what if we just said hey, once a month or once a week, we're going to do it on their birthday coming to a close of another year and moving into the next number, but in reality that's actually in an incremental way.
Speaker 2:
That's happening all the time. Every day comes to a close, every month comes to a close and a new month starts, and so that could even be a minimum to do that to start with. Looking at it once a month Like going into the next month, treating that almost like it's New Year's Eve, right.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, it's April 1st.
Speaker 2:
What's that going to look like? Or May 1st what's that going to look like? How am I going to change things this month so that I'm more in alignment with who I'm becoming and the goals that I'm trying to reach? So you could set minimums around doing that very activity of zooming out Because we talked about that eagle vision and zooming way out and then that way you can zoom in and make little tiny shifts. And then that way you can zoom in and make little tiny shifts. Well, maybe if I put my phone away when I wanted to be home and present with my family, that would help. That could be a small shift that I could make. That's going to be more in alignment with who I want to be.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2:
So it's like you can. If you expand out, you can see those things more clearly.
Speaker 1:
It's like watching yourself, yeah Well, and so what I would recommend because I know like we get these ideas, we do this for a living and we have to remind ourselves of this very thing, right? So so much like compassion for the people that are, you know, have different types of jobs that pull their attention in all kinds of different areas away from you know this type of conversation. So you know, something I highly recommend is like throw it in your calendar, throw it in your Google calendar, you know, to say, like just this, reoccurring once a month on a Sunday, reoccurs every Sunday once a month. To slow down for X amount of time, you know, maybe 30 minutes, whatever, and Just revisit my goals, what I want, where I am, do some exploration around that, right, and get back to some basics, because those dips are going to happen and how we handle the dips can shorten the refractory period, the amount of time and the severity of the dip, right. But to think that they're not going to happen is absolutely just not realistic. They're going to happen and they're going to happen in your life, and the beautiful thing about being a heart first leader in this podcast we talk about this is all part of being heart.
Speaker 1:
First, is that the better you get at being able to navigate those types of dips with grace and even verbalize how you're handling going through what you're experiencing hey, a little bit of brain fog, a little bit of irritation, a little bit of confusion, whatever that may be, feeling like you're doing something wrong You're able to verbalize. Through that, you're giving your environment the context and how to do it for themselves too, because they're going to experience it. Your spouse is going to experience it, your kids are going to experience it. You work with your coworkers, employees, athletes, whoever it is that you're around and influencing they're all going to experience dips. So this is a piece that is incredibly important to be able to just explore with a sense of grace yourself too. So, getting back to the basics, that's life in the sense of athletics, high performance, relationship, business, anything.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I love that. So set a date with yourself. Put an appointment in your calendar is what I'm hearing as an idea. Put an appointment in your calendar for at a minimum once a month. You could do this weekly check back in with your why. Why are you doing the things you're doing? Who is it that you're becoming? What do you want out of your life experience? What do you want your experience of life to be like? And then, from there, taking a look at what might be in the way of that and decluttering a little bit and then creating some new, very small, incremental shifts that you're going to make. That's going to start getting you closer to there.
Speaker 2:
So if part of your desired experience of life is that you want to be healthier and exercise isn't something that's really consistent or regular in your schedule, then that might be one of those little shifts. Well, where can I make time in my schedule for exercise? Maybe it's, um, there's a evening TV show that you that you've been watching and you want to just like, limit that to only the weekend, and then, on the weekdays, during that half hour time period, you're going to do something to move your body. You're going to get out and take a walk as a family. So all awesome ideas and very small shifts can make a really big compound effect and a big difference over time and you're going to hear us talk more about more neuroscience because of the.
Speaker 1:
You know what we're doing with the brain mapping and things of that nature with it. Just as you stay tuned here, in future episodes there'll be more talking about something that you mentioned multiple times that I want to just highlight because you're going to hear it again here if you listen to this podcast is, you know, growth mindset. When it was first, uh, kind of being talked about in the neuroscience world, was first called incremental theory. So just know that this idea that we're creating here, when it comes to like making these incremental changes, it's at 100 alignment with how your brain changes. Your brain's not going to change in some huge paradigm shift all at once. We have to get really freaking good on making incremental changes and then being able to observe and verbalize our growth within that.
Speaker 1:
So more to come with that later, but I just wanted to highlight that real quick because you had mentioned it just naturally in what you were saying so many times. So this is awesome. Get back to the basics. We're going to keep it short and sweet and I just want to thank you for your time. Any last thoughts, heidi?
Speaker 2:
No, I'm excited to set a, set a date and reconnect again. I think you can't do that too much. You know there, really you can't um, you can't over connect with the vision of who you're, who you're becoming and what you want out of your life, and so so get, get ready to receive a calendar.
Speaker 1:
Invite, because we're going to put it on our calendar and share, share that you know. Invite each other to do it. I'll see you on the back porch.